Its really starting to sink in that we have a baby waiting for us in Africa.  Especially when I looked on the Acres of Hope website and saw that his name had been removed from the list of waiting kids.  That just made it seem really official…. he’s going to be our baby boy!  A real little person who will become an inseparable part of our family… and to whom we will be eternally connected.  Adoption really is a miracle.  Its crazy how much you can feel for someone you’ve never met!  There are so many parallels to the way God views us and feels about us. 

There have been a lot of different emotions the past couple weeks, and so much to do — putting together Henry’s photo album… getting updated copies of our homestudy to approve us for a special needs child… moving money around to get the check written for the next half of the adoption fees… calling our friends and family to give them the happy news… making millions of copies of Henry’s picture for people to keep on their fridge doors…

But now that most of it is done, I am entering the difficult season of just waiting… and wondering.   Wondering how he is feeling today; wondering if he has been moved to his foster family yet; wondering if they are going to treat him well and not view him differently because of his handicaps; wondering if he has gained any much-needed weight yet; wondering if these few months are really going to make a huge difference for him in the long run because he’s not getting the physical therapy he needs so badly; wondering what makes him smile and laugh out loud; wondering if he will like us?… and the list goes on.  I knew the waiting part was going to be difficult, but I didn’t realize how much the field changes when there is an actual little person involved.  It didn’t seem so difficult waiting on all the other steps in the process.  But, now, its a real ache in my heart.  A real sense of missing a part of our family.  A real desire to hold my baby and be the one to dry his tears.  

My heart goes out to parents who have had to wait much longer than they originally anticipated to bring their children home. I have a new level of understanding and appreciation for the perseverance and steadfastness an adopting mama must have!  I think God uses the opportunity to do more refining of your faith and trust, and more expanding of your capacity to love.   He softens and toughens you all at the same time!

Thankfully, its summer and there is so much to be done outside while we wait… and I have my list of books to read and projects to finish before Henry comes home.  But, if anyone else has any great “waiting” projects or ideas, please feel free to share them!  Consider it a therapeutic gift to those behind you in the process…

Advertisements